When you were young, your parents were the caregivers and you needed them to care for you. As your parents age, however, a role reversal often happens. At some point, you may end up being the caregiver as the physical and mental deterioration that comes with aging leaves your parents in need of care. To prepare you, the Los Angeles attorneys at Schomer Estate & Wealth Advisors discuss common mistakes adult children make when managing their parents’ affairs.
How Many Americans Take Care of Elderly Parents?
The older population in the United States has exploded in recent years and is not expected to slow down anytime soon. The Baby Boomer generation reaching retirement age is one reason for the growing population of older Americans. Advances in science and medicine have also contributed to a significantly longer average life expectancy than people had just a century ago. With so many people living into their 70s, 80s, and 90s, there has been a corresponding increase in the need for adult children to provide care for and manage the affairs of their elderly parents. One recent survey showed that two out of every three adults provide some type of care to an elderly parent and over half provide financial assistance.
Mistakes You Can Avoid When Managing Parents’ Affairs
Realizing that you must now become the caregiver because your parents cannot safely manage their own affairs can be overwhelming. It can also be easy to make mistakes, such as:
- Hesitating to step in. It’s understandable and it’s awkward but pretending like your parents are not getting older and that there isn’t a problem is not the solution. The longer you wait to step in and take control, the higher the risk is that your parents will be physically or financially victimized. Check on your parents regularly and step in when the need to do so becomes apparent.
- Avoiding a difficult conversation. Sitting down and talking to your parents about an obvious decline in mental acuity will be hard. If you are seeing signs of cognitive impairment, however, waiting too long could mean waiting too long. At some point, a parent’s ability to understand, and more importantly to consent, will disappear. Talk to your parents about executing crucial estate planning documents, including a Will, advance directives, and a Power of Attorney now, while they still have the requisite mental capacity to sign those documents.
- Not asking for help. None of this will be easy for your parents or for you. At some point, you may need help from family, friends, and professionals. Consult with your estate planning attorney, financial advisor, and even spiritual advisor and do not hesitate to ask family and friends for help, even if only to give you a break occasionally.
- Not taking away the keys. For older people, the ability to drive usually equates to independence – and no one wants to give up their independence. Failing to take the care keys when a parent can no longer safely operate a vehicle, however, puts your parent and everyone else on the roadway at risk of serious injury or death.
- Failing to plan for long-term care. If a parent needs long-term care in the future, is there a plan to pay for the cost of that care? At an average cost of around $100,000 per year, you need a plan. Since Medicare will not cover LTC, talk to an estate planning attorney about Medi-Cal planning to ensure that your parents can afford LTC if it is needed.
- Forgetting about the legalities. Imagine needing to remove your parent from a LTC facility because you suspect that he/she is being abused and realizing that you do not have the legal authority to do so. Likewise, imagine that a parent is being kept alive through the use of life-sustaining measures, knowing that he/she doesn’t want that, but not having the legal authority to do anything. Careful estate planning now will provide you with the legal authority you may need down the road.
Do You Need Assistance Managing Your Parents’ Affairs?
For more information, please join us for an upcoming FREE seminar. If you need assistance or you have elder law questions, contact the experienced Los Angeles elder law attorneys at Schomer Estate & Wealth Advisors by calling (310) 337-7696 to schedule an appointment.
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